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zaterdag 28 november 2015

Kebab legs, bullying and crying on national television.

First I felt fat. Now I feel fabulous! 

Before you start to ask “Dude, what the hell are kebab legs!?” (I’ll come to that in a bit) I want to tell you guys that I will be on TV again! I did some TV stuff for Koffietijd, a Dutch talk show, but that was for a modelling job. This time I did a very personal interview for a new TV program called Jan rijdt rond-Jan drives around. So, back to the kebab legs! 

My entire life I've felt that I was fat, fluffy and chubby. I wasn’t confident about my body. My sister, friends and random strangers always looked prettier and skinnier than I was. I referred to my legs as the rolls of meat that you have in a kebab place… But looking at pictures from when I was younger, I now see that I was as skinny as the rest of them! And not that life is about being skinny, but it is about being happy in your own skin. And I wasn’t feeling like that.


I posted this two days ago on Instagram
And you guys where so sweet. <3 

During the interview we‘ve talked about my low self-esteem. But also about bullying and boyfriends. When Jan asked me about what I would like to say to my 14-year old self, my heart just broke. I felt so sorry for my younger self. And I burst in to tears.

At this time in life I see myself as a confident woman. I love the body that I am in and I try to be as healthy as I can. I exercise, try to eat healthy and have a snack and a glass of wine if I want to. All the struggles I used to have made me into the person that I am today and I am proud of that! 

Looking back on the interview I feel like I was hypnotised. I was answering all the questions without even thinking about what I was saying. Some things I may even regret saying out loud. But I felt so relieved getting all of that of my chest. I have never really talked about anyone about that time so it kinda felt like therapy to me.

I’ll let you know when the interview is airing here in Holland. For the rest of you guys I will try and upload a fragment of it!

So to all you guys I want to say thank you if you made it to the end of the article :) You are beautiful just the way you are. <3 Inside and out. 

Love, Paula 

3 opmerkingen:

  1. Lieve Paula, we hebben jou gisteren voor het allereerst voor de lens gehad voor Dresskini, en je leren kennen als een ontzettend warme, lieve en bovenal prachtige persoon! Jij bent het echte beeld van een "beauty", niet alleen de prachtige looks, maar ook een prachtige persoonlijkheid! xxx Ann Smets, Dresskini

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  2. Ik wist er wel van en daarom stelde ik jou voor aan "Jan" Ook nu ben je er nog mee bezig want wat was je blij dat er een categorie size 38 kwam. Ik zelf hoop dat je blijft zoals je bent. Je bent zó mooi en niet alleen je buitenkant maar zeker ook je binnenkant en dat beiden opgeteld maakt van jou, lieve Paula een pracht vrouw en een top model! ❤ you

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  3. Oja anoniem was het makkelijkste om te plaatsen maar halloooo �� it's me Miranda
    MaxiMe Models

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Love, Paula